ohman....what's my prob now?

like i can get high with ppl i hardly even know. but with ppl im supposed to be closest to, i cant even keep awake. it's bout how i can relate to them.

and it's another feeling when you realise sth you love has been 'contaminated' and changed. then you realise it does not belong to you only. it belongs to so many ppl. it is shared. yet, not equally and it isnt even within your grasp, let alone control.

then you realise that maybe what you what for it, doesnt go by majority. then you ask yourselves what's best for it. you think you're right. but there are emotions that apparently arent controlable.

what shit man, you think. emotions in your perspective can be controlled. why are ppl so negative?

you realise that your thinking is just so different you dont even feel like a relation, let alone member of it. you try to change your thinking, wanting to drift back.

some time ltr, you think, why m i trying to go back? i feel so much more myself without it. it is an attachment. sth wrong.

you drift. but you bear the consequences of being let out. you dont mind. it's not your character. then you see how some ppl are changing it so throughly and making it dip, then you realise you still have feelings for it.

yet, feelings cant go much. you cant do anything when you see it dip. no one sees it dipping except you. you cant get the message across and you feel like you've done wrong to it.

but, you see how everyone progresses fine. yea, but it wont turn out correct. you just know it. you think you do.

yet, you've alr drift so far, you cant do anything. you cant stand the state it is in. yet, you have no right to change it.

you cant do anything, except listening to ppl saying you drifted, and at the same time, wanting to drift but wanting to stay.

it isnt what you wanted it to be. but you must accomodating, you rmb it isnt yours, it's everybody's. you no longer want to be part of it.

but you get the feeling and hints from ppl, that you are wrong.

yet, you know maybe it's the best choice.

maybe, you screwed it up yourself and this is the punishment you must bear.

so be it. i dont care.

it isnt related to me much anymore.

it's so unrelated to me. yet, so strong it impacts me.

and no one understands what i mean.

it was a wrong choice in the first place, at least for me.

character clash is sth that impacts greatly.